Just a refresher...in neighborly delights.

The purpose of this repost is to give you newbies, and some old biddies a back ground on the upcoming post for tomorrow...

Ah. Neighbors. Either you love them or want to kill them. Sigh. Ladies, reacquaint yourself with this story from last year. It takes place at our old house last year before we moved our asses out of that craptacular neighborhood. We seem to have some crappy luck with neighbors in general, but these fucks? Well they take the cake.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Mighty Neighborly of You, Dear...

...pain in my ass!

My July 5th got off to more of bang than the 4th. My day started off fairly normal. Breakfast prep for the little one, coffee for me, a check of the news just to make sure the world didn't blow up over night, and my sweet old neighbor lady yelling on her porch in her purple robe? Huh?

As my husband hurried me to the front porch I expected a show down.

The previous night an undesirable neighbor, who began lighting fireworks off Saturday night and started again early Sunday morning, began once again lighting up the neighborhood sky with illegal fireworks. Now I try not to be a negative Nancy, but this house, these neighbors, well you could say that they are part of the reason we are leaving our humble abode. Believe you me, deary, its not like I never lit off illegal fireworks or shot my gun in glee in the alley. If it were just a few for a while, I wouldn't have been so upset. But these unthoughful souls blew up the neighborhood for 3 hours which kept my kid up and my dog whining. Were they smart enough to light them off in the street? No they did it right on the sidewalk just feet from parked cars. Cars full of gasoline, and roofs made from wood. Oh and not to mention large trees. I figured today I would be writing about a Darwin Award candidate.

Well, as I approached my screen door I could see that this would be good. I just can't help myself sometimes, and I'll tell you what, I can hardly contain myself now that I know we'll be packing. As I listened to the fat guy swear and yell at the old lady I couldn't help but back her up.

"You kept the whole neighborhood up with your disrespect, you're the trashiest house on this block and you're the damn reason we are leaving..." all spewed from my mouth before I could contain it. After a string of profanities where hurled across the street at me, I retaliated with more, but before I could scream my point across, the fat guy's wife sprayed the old lady with a garden hose! Oh no you didn't!

"I'm calling the cops, I'm calling the cops," could be heard up and down the block. You have a reason, isn't this some kind of assault? How could you spray an 80 year old lady in her bathrobe with a hose? I mean really.

Well, the cops sure came. Two squad cars and the police van. Intimidating. Very.

Long story short, after some time of the cops talking to all of us, the fat guy was awarded for his assholeness and stupidity with a $700 fine for blowing off illegal fireworks in the city. We were all told to return to our houses and stay inside for the day. No prob for me, I hardly ever step out front because of my disgust of the neighbors. Not so easy for the violators. The fat guy and extended family couldn't keep themselves off their porch. They were compelled to stand on the porch [in their dirty white t-shirts and their fat bellies hanging out]. Unreal.

Let that be a lesson. Don't piss of your neighbors, at least not the ones who know the laws and have the balls to call the cops. Unlike the rest of the wussies on this block, biatches.


Cheers,

Donna Freakin' Reed




xoxo