So, as usual, I'm mad at the Neanderthal for being a neanderthal. Sigh. Well, I'm not mad anymore at least, but when he walked out that door tonight, I'll tell ya...yet within a half hour I missed him terribly. I always do.
We've joked since we met that it was fate that has brought us together...like Mickey and Malory Knox in Natural Born Killers. Aw. Memories...Sigh...love is sure grand.
Is it fate that has brought us here to this point? Or fucking Murphy's Law and the bloody ass fucking jerkface universe? Damn.
Fate. Ha! Fate brought me to this old blog post this evening whilst I was looking for a different post. This sorely needed reminder as to why I fell in love with Johnny Punchclock in the first place ended up being just what I needed tonight. Marriage ain't no freakin' sunshine and rainbow fucking picnic. You've got to work, hard at it. Really, really hard. I'm not always that good at it...and little reminders like this can't at least keep the ball rolling for another day. Sigh. There's always something that keeps me from stuffing his pillow over his face, I mean tucking him in too tight...
I am usually so pissed off, ladies, that I can hardly stand myself at times. And sometimes I am not sure it will ever end or what the outcome will be, hence the word usage in my blog's title of dubiously. That is how I feel about today.
This day, of all days, Valentine's Day, can be a doosey if the neanderthal doesn't catch on quick and abide by the proper customs of our consumer society. He's known to bring home Bloody Mary mix on a day he should've had a dozen long stem white roses dripping in diamonds and sapphires and crawled in the house on his knees presenting the flowers above his head begging for my glorious forgiveness. That day turned out real well, girls. Let me tell you. At least this one is planned and gets written on the calendar for him so he doesn't have to think about remedying a situation that likely calls for gifts. This day he can fix it all, or at least make me forget about it for a bit and give me time to put the shotgun away, and all on a yearly schedule.
So in honor of this lame day that I buy into because I am woman with a complex and numerous other issues that I need to avoid, and want to be treated sweetly and shown love through pre-packaged admiration and overpriced dying flowers, I give you...
The top Five Sweetest Things my Man has Ever Done for Me that Leave a Memory So Dear They Still Keep Me from Shooting Him (full of love) in his Sleep to this Day.1. When we met I was dirt poor and could hardly find a bra in the general world near my size ( I do not wear a tiny cute bra ladies, not by the least, hardly, no way, uh uh.), nor my budget of nothing . I created what I needed. I added extensions, sewed spots tighter and stronger, and all around created a Frankenstein bra. He felt bad for me and me two fabulous Frederic's of Hollywood bras that were soooooo badly needed it was ridiculous. No man had ever bought me lingerie let alone a pricey Frederic's bra! First bonus points.
2. During the summer we met I had contracted a bit of a stomach virus that made me sick enough for two weeks that I had to buy a few packs of new underwear and a set of sheets when it was all finally over. He was sweet and spent the night with me all through it. One day after he got out of work he had brought me a few bottles of Gatorade and laid them by my bed on the floor. He then sweetly called my name and touched my face to wake me up. Next to my head on my pillow was a dozen yellow tea roses. Sweet little things. I still have them dried and crusty, but I have them. And I always will, even when they are dust.
Now I have to stop for a moment and explain that this redneck never buys girls flowers because once he bought a girl a great amount of her favorite flower, whatever it may have been, and she promptly broke up with him. There is also another story of it happening in Junior high with just a rose or something, but I am not as clear on the details. So that said, my guy had this fear that I would dump him if he got me flowers so the flowers on my bed were a big, big, big deal.
He sometimes tried to avoid the "buying of the flowers" to maybe protect him from the *curse.*
3. One night early on in our relationship I had made dinner and was waiting for him to show. He was fairly late, and I was fairly irritated. When he did finally show he came to the door with a big goofy grin and hand clutching a various assortment of flowers. But these were no ordinary flowers, they were appropriated, from the neighborhoods between my house and his house. He rode his motorcycle around and stopped in an array of yards with pretty flowers and stole enough until he had a beautiful bouquet. Aw. One of my favs.
4. I have migraine headaches and sometimes they hit at the most inconvenient times...like exam review day in a class I had the hardest time in during college, freakin' math. I am a math retard, I swear! I can learn it, pass it, and that's it. No retention, gone. Anywhoot. On this day in particular my guy went cross town to campus to my class to get the review sheet from the professor. I even think he was late for work to do it. That in all is sweet, extremely, but have you seen him? In his work gear? Man, he's a man of keys, chains, and leathermen. When I lose him in the grocery store I listen or his keys and chains. Can you imagine this in a quiet hall of classrooms on a college campus. In fact, this is one of those things that made him a keeper. For sure.
5. Here's a big one. Speaking of migraines. Shortly after he purchased his brand new bike we were going somewhere, and I had a headache. I didn't really want to go, I was feeling quite awful, so awful that I wasn't on my game, or my walk for that matter. When I went to get on the bike, instead of swinging my leg over from the ground, I tried to stand on the back peg and swing over. Really, now. That would have worked when I was a 15 year old and hardly weighed a dime, but now? HA! The new bike and the new man crashed to the ground. What is sweet about any of this? He didn't dump me.
And now here we are going on five years together and we haven't killed each other yet, though, I must admit it has been close a few times, but all in all, I wouldn't trade him for the available option right now for anything. I just need to think of these things a bit more often. And he should probably remember them too.
Full of flippin' kisses and love,
Donna Freakin' Reed
xoxox
This was the perfect reminder. At least for today. *wipes tear* Aw. The big jerk. I sure do love him. And I love to hate him...
xoxox
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