Dear Friday the 13th. Glad that shit is over...

Dear Friday the 13th,

So after the day that I had... it has come to my attention that you may be in cahoots with that bastard Murphy's Law and the mother fucking Universe. Yeah. I'm on to you fuckers. The day was set up right from the beginning when the MIL made an appointment with a real estate attorney about that bullshit house who told them both the same damn thing I've been saying for almost two effin' years. On our way to said appointment there was an accident on the main road so we had to go around by 4 miles which set the redneck's great mood off. That was a good time. Sigh...

I have to admit not the whole day was bad, but I'm sure it was Murphy's idea to throw in the magic fingers of my friend who performed surgery and was able to get ALL of my files off of my crashed external drive. He now has gawddly status in my head. He's magical. That shit is getting double backed up and burned to disk this next round. Wheew. But I bet it was the Universe's idea to sandwich that one fantastic thing in between the attorney appointment and my mother's phone call regarding my brother who has apparently lost his effin' mind.

Yeh. My brother. My 45 yearl old, divorced, father of 3 wonderful kids, older brother of mine. You guys have screwed him up so bad that he needs a separate paragraph. Early Saturday morning he boarded a plane with his passport in hand to fly to Kenya. Yes. Africa. Yes. It's the first time he's ever been out of the country, hell the state in at least 10 years, and he went to Africa, and without a malaria shot. What the hell is he going to Kenya for, you ask? He went to Kenya to meet AND marry his Facebook girlfriend of just a few months. Um. Yeeeaaah. There had been some scuttle about him going to meet her in March, but never once did I expect him to jump up and decide, "Hey, I'm going to go to Kenya tomorrow and marry this [alleged] woman! Hahaa! You only live once!" Yeh. You live long enough until I get a call to report your mangled body on the side of the road. ACKK! And you all think I'm the crazy one. Bah.

So dear Friday the 13th, you need to step on back and take your buddies with you for a while. I know you like to get me sometimes, like having my mom and step dad marry in Vegas on the 13th without telling anyone. I know that was like 25 some years ago, but ack! Now since I know that you and the Universe and effin' Murphy's are in cahoots could you guys please meet up and Kenya to keep an eye on my insane in the membrane brother so that I don't have to sell my soul for a ticket to Kenya. I always expected to get something more enjoyable for my soul, so don't fuck me there, boys. And on my birthday week! You idiots best fix this shit and bring that man home safely.

Thanks much,

Donna


Don't fuck this up boys! (shakes fist violently in the Universe and Murphy's Law's faces)





xoxo