The Whole Damn Family

The Good, The Bad,

and The Ugly

Let me introduce you the the ones in my life who help keep my kitchen floor dirty. Names have been withheld to protect the guilty.

The Good

H 




So far H is the only one who fits this category, or should I say fits for now. He's my special lil' guy and the stitching in our family. Sweet as pie and smart as a whip. His unconditional love keeps me going when it gets rough. I look forward to the years where he tells me to go to hell, we never loved him and he wishes he'd never been born. Aw. Kids are precious.

The Bad


This category would naturally include all of our pets.

R.I.P.  October 2009
The Dog
aka Dogface


She's also 10 years old and came with the marriage. She is a product of the typical boy wants dog mom takes care of dog relationship. In other words she is super spoiled. She's whiny, demanding and just plain assholelike when she doesn't get her way. Thanks MIL. As I type she is ripping up the back door demanding to be let in, when I'm obviously ignoring her.

Fat Cat
aka La Gorda

She's around 14 years old and weighs around 16 lbs these days. Her highest had been 20 lbs of fuzzy fat fun. She's just as demanding as the dog, but does it in a shrill cat like screech more often than not. She makes a wonderful foot warmer on cold mornings, you just have to watch for the teeth. The Urbilly hates the cats, despises them. But like I say abou the dog, they came with the marriage.

R.I.P  May 2011
Old Man
aka El Flaco.


This cat is especially hated by my husband and overly loved by the kid. He is almost 16 which is like 90 in cat years, and still sleeps in the crook of my arm after all of this time. But don't let his old skinny ass lead you astray. His 6 lb body flies through the air onto my kitchen counters to eat my plants and the leftovers in a single bound. He is more than set in his ways. He is also extremely stubborn and will steal your seat the second you stand up. But he is great with the baby and lets H try to rip his spine out without biting. Aw. Good kitty.

The Ugly

The Mother in Law

aka Milly

My MIL would be delighted to know that I called her the Ugly. She really isn't ugly at all. In fact, I've never even had a "my mother in law is a real bitch" feeling towards her. I just figured she belonged here. Why? Because she is my MIL. She's nosy and all around annoying, just like they all are, right?



The Urbilly,
The, ahem, love of my life

aka The Redneck

aka Jerkface

aka Punch Clock Johnny,

aka The Neanderthal

I also felt it appropriate to put my dear motorcycle loving urbilly neanderthal of a husband in this category. I gave up intellectual conversation and a married life of academia for a man who can fix everything and build anything. Did I mention tattoos and motorcycles? Yeh, he's much sexier than a poindexter. I know in a twisted way that he is my soul mate. We are from the same home town, but never knew each other because of our age difference. When we met it was just about love at first sight. We married quickly and have had a hell of a time ever since. Yet, somehow we always seem to fall in love all over again. Even if it is only for a day or so. My guy. I love him so. He's either punching the clock for his family, wrenching on some bikes, riding some bikes, shoveling food in his face or sleeping on the recliner. That's my guy.

Aw. What's not to love?

Really, what's not to love? The big goof.